About a month ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with searing pain in my lower abdomen. Having had three miscarriages, I feared the worst as I woke my husband up at 4 am and made him drive me to the emergency room. So many things were running through my head as I began to think about how far along I was, whether the baby was ok, and whether or not I could have any pain medication that would not hurt the baby. Several hours later, I left still in pain and with pretty much no explanation as to why I was hurting so badly I could barely breathe. They did reassure me that the baby was fine, but it wouldn't be until three more doctors and emergency rooms tried their best to guess what was going on that we would find out that I had a torsion of my right ovary, which had to be surgically removed immediately.
While getting yet another ultrasound during this process, this time by our incredible high risk specialist Dr. Zink, we heard the news no parent ever wants to hear about their baby. "Birth defect", "chromosomal defects", "possibly incompatible with life", "NICU", "neonatal surgery".... It felt like I was having an out of body experience. This can't really be happening to us, to our baby. We were told that Tate has a birth defect called an omphalocele, which in layman's terms means that his intestines/internal organs are protruding from his belly button. He will require surgery shortly after his birth and we can expect at least a month's stay in the NICU. At this point, we had chosen to decline all genetic testing because we would not terminate a baby regardless of a diagnosis. Dr. Zink explained to us that omphalocele babies have a 50% likelihood of having a chromosomal issue like trisomy 13, 18 or 21. (2 of which are "incompatible with life") So, we did the MaterniT21 blood test and went home. The next several days, we did the only thing we knew to do... We prayed and waited and did our best to stay positive and prayed some more. By the time Dr. Zink called us with the results a week later, I already had complete peace that Tate was chromosomally normal. I don't know how to explain it other than I "just knew". Needless to say, we were overjoyed and to hear that this is an isolated issue and baby Tate will go on to have a normal life once we get past the first year or two of his life. Praise God for His faithfulness!
Since we were told about Tate's omphalocele, I have lived up to the nickname my husband coined during my pregnancy with my daughter of the Google Queen. I have scoured the internet and learned all kinds of things about different treatment methods, doctors, the impending c-section that I am utterly terrified of, feeding/digestion issues, development, and just about anything and everything else I could get my eyes on. The one thing that I could not find, though, was a source of support. Someone to say everything is going to be ok, that my omphalocele baby is going to be every bit as much of a blessing as my other children, that life goes on and is full and happy. Maybe that hasn't been everyone's experience, but being pregnant and knowing the road ahead is full of obstacles is enough to make any family stress out. That is why I decided to do this blog. To show that there is just as much joy and anticipation to be had, and that God is still good and still here. I just choose not to spend the next five months dreading the day that my precious boy is born.
I choose to trust God completely. In my life, I have personally experienced miraculous healings in my body that left doctors scratching their heads without a medical explanation. Time and time again, the Lord has proven Himself faithful to me and our family and I know He has not brought us this far to just leave us hanging. And I know that Tate's life will not be any different. I'm growing a miracle in my belly and I know just Who deserves all the credit.
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